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Signs of
Unmourned Loss
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Chronic depression,
absence of humor, punitive atmosphere
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Psychic numbing
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Inability to have fun
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Somatization of loss
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Inability to play
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Acting-out - reenactments
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Inability to show
emotions, especially sadness
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Clinging to objects
representing the Loss
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Inability to ritualize
and resolve grief in play
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Hopelessness,
helplessness, cynicism, pessimism
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Haunted by/living in the
past
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“Nothing will ever be
the same”
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Grief is directed at at
significant other, often in the form of aggression
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Hurting others, including
animals
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Joining communities who
express dysfunctional grief - gangs, cults
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Rigidity, inflexibility,
resistance to change, hopelessness about possibility of change
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Death preoccupation
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Inability to feel
pleasure
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Blocked progress
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Risk-taking behavior
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Continued reenactments
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Lack of future vision
Implications
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All change, even for the
good, means Loss
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People who have been
traumatized have multiple losses from abuse and neglect
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Need to do grief work
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Losses often difficult to
articulate
Managing Loss
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Continue addressing
issues of Safety and Affect management while addressing Loss issues.
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Help person identify the
particular grief issue to be focused upon.
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Establish an alliance or
contract for working on the losses.
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Address the four basic
grief tasks: acceptance, pain, adjustment, reinvestment.
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Explore and diffuse
linked objects or the symbolic objects which a survivor uses to maintain the
relationship with family member, part of self, friend, dream or fantasy.
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Help the person to
explore the reality that there is no retrieving a lost past, that no one can
replace the lost loved ones, that there is no payback for the hurts of the
past, that there is no rescue.
-
Help the person say
“goodbye” to the events of the past while still acknowledging that it is a
past.
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Patterns of repetitive
reenactment behavior recognized, understood and responded to with goal of
change
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Issues of loss addressed
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Resistance to change
recognized and addressed creatively
 Bloom
& Vargas, Loss, Hurt and Hope
Beyond the Beveled Mirror: Mourning and Recovery
From Childhood Maltreatment
The
Grief That Dares Not Speak Its Name, Part I
The Grief
That Dares Not Speak Its Name, Part II
The Grief
That Dares Not Speak Its Name, Part III
Articles about S.E.L.F./S.A.G.E.
S.E.L.F.
Psychoeducational Group Curriculum
S.E.L.F.
Safety
Physical
Safety
Psychological Safety
Social
Safety
Moral
Safety
Emotional Management
Future |
